My journey from orderly cosmos and day to day functions and activities, became chaos on September 7, 2007.
The tenth anniversary of my medical tsunami that thrust me into the silent world of deafness was almost 30 months ago. It passed relatively unnoticed for the most part. SO I found it odd that today my thoughts drifted to the nightmare that cost me all the sound in my life, stole my inner balance functions, and brought my world into a cone of silence, came to play today.
Remembrance of the events are tough. I went into repertory arrest around 3 am that day, and ER folks had no idea why. Stumped and out of options as I was failing, flaying and falling fast, they parked me in a coma where I resided for the next 10 days.
Reading a post today by Carly Sygrove https://myhearinglossstory.wordpress.com/2017/08/28/one-year-on-my-thoughts-on-my-sudden-hearing-loss/ where she took her good readers thru here sudden hearing loss on her one year anniversary, delivered me back to my sudden medical cyclone.
I have no recollection of a sudden gut wrenching surprised “Oh my God, I can’t hear anything” As a matter of fact my first realization of any semblance of being back in the land of “awake” as opposed to the dreamlike state that I had been in since what felt like the beginning of time was Halloween that year! A full 50 some days since my hospitalization!
I had a window in my room on the seventh floor of the hospital one town east of my town. I did not know these facts at this point. The window was where my attention was spent for the most part. I like watching the shift changes of staff, the opening of visitors hours, the trees in the park changing their hues as Autumn commenced. People would come into my room and busy themselves with many things around my bed and at times would tap me on my shoulder and pass me a small whiteboard with a question or statement written out in black sharpie. Doctors (my guess as they were male and short with time and temperament) preferred to look at me and talk. No sound would come out as their lips flailed at the speed of their hand movement, and I was okay with this.
Assuredly my life was now 100% visual. I was in a hospital bed that had rails up and locked to confine me, which I would later discover the reason. No inner balance equates to no walking! I discovered this at the end of October when I was given a bed pan by nurse. “Nope, not for me” I thought, and over the rails I went. Tried to take a step and cracked my head on the fall. Another concussion to add to the few I had collected. So my view was my world, and I had an indoor view of course being in the room, and a window to the outside world. My view was my world. No sound, just pictures.
Generally speaking in my hearing life, I was a shy person, My lack of self confidence laid the grounds for me to avoid eye contact. I walked my earth with head down for the most part. Now, deaf as a stump, I needed to figure out survival techniques. I had no sound in my concerto and my new world of visual was fine, but I needed to change where I looked. I still employed my “head down and you wont get noticed” technique where I was a Jedi Knight in that school, so I saw a lot of socks and shoes. Socks became my coping distraction. “Who has the best socks today?” I would ask myself. Then “Nurse Ratchet has the funky dot socks going on today, wonder what prompted this change?” Yup, socks was my coping distraction for the month of November that year, until I needed to change to survive.
I go back to that date today after three weeks of medical “shit”, for lack of a better word, and 269 months since the my medical melt down
Yesterday on my umpteenth visit to my family Doctor in the past 10 weeks, I gave my auto mechanic speech: ” Once you give a auto guy permission to look under the hood, be prepared for the ‘LIST’ of issues to follow”. I then retreated into my wold of socks and shoes, and how to cope with a world built for the hearing had defeated my yesterday. How my inability to comprehend what the male Doctor (males are tougher than females in voice comprehension for cochlear folks ) with a Middle Eastern accent drove me back to the ‘head down” school of coping with the world.
Ten years ago today, at time of me writing this I was implanted with a Cochlear Implant and into a new a wonderful relationship with a lady that would soon become my wife. Life at the speed of life!