Deaf as  a stump. That is what I need to accept. Yes, I am a true Cyborg with my cochlear implant and all of it’s incredible technology. The term cyborg is not the same thing as bionic, or android; it applies to an organism that has restored function or enhanced abilities due to the integration of some artificial component or technology that relies on some sort of feedback. While cyborgs are commonly thought of as mammals, including humans, they might also conceivably be any kind of organism. So my implanted implant, along with my implanted electrodes make me a true cyborg. I prefer CI-Borg.

It is the liminal space that I now exist in that requires acceptance. The word liminal comes from the Latin word limen, meaning threshold – any point or place of entering or beginning. A liminal space is the time between the ‘what was’ and the ‘next.’ It is a place of transition, waiting, and not knowing. My depression has a root or two in this ground. I need to accept and acknowledge that I am not in the true hearing world as I am deaf and hear digital reproduction of what my old analog world knew and heard so well; and the D/deaf world offers the same little acceptance that the hearing world does. I am not ASL proficient despite 9 college courses. I was not born deaf so the culture I may have inherited is limited to my new and recent “deaf experiences”, but still shunned by the Deaf.

New year, new world, new thoughts emerge today. Near-at-hand is 2018 in my part of the world. Coldest day of the year as 2017 draws it’s curtain, and two dogs (one on a visit) with two cats grace our living space as we display a lazy year end gratitude despite all gloomy and dire news, fake or otherwise. I am one grateful deaf guy!


Life as a CI-Borg

3 Replies to “ACCEPTANCE”

  1. I too am a CI-borg. I don’t feel comfortable in either world. I don’t know ASL, and hearing you had 9 courses and still don’t feel proficient gives little hope of learning. Iost my hearing 5 years ago due to Meniere’s disease and the vertigo still plagues me.
    Do you have good communication skills with your hearing loss? Or are you as lost as I am when there is background noise or a soft spoken person is trying to talk with me?


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